Sir R-----, my fine friend! The coming of spring always puts one in excellent spirits, do you not find? Speaking of which, come join me in a glass of this particularly peaty whiskey with which we might toast her imminent arrival!

Might I tempt you with a little sport to quicken the blood still further?

It lifts my soul to hear it Sir!

I have in mind a game that I learned when in passage to the new world with a company of twelve Quakers. I was not especially relishing the prospect of yet another monotonous transatlantic crossing and so you can imagine my relief when I spied the boisterous party embarking, dressed in the finest silks and satins and singing a bawdy tavern ballad as they took turns at a bottle of what looked like a very fine brandy indeed!

Greetings Sir R-----! This evening's chill wind might be forgiven some of its injurious assault upon me by delivering me some good company as I warm my bones. Come, shed your coat and join me in a glass of this rather delightful mulled cyder!

Might you be interested in a little sport whilst we recover?

Excellent!

This foul zephyr puts me in mind of the infantile conflict between King Oberon and Queen Titania that was in full force during my first visit to the faerie kingdom. I had arrived there quite by accident but fortunately my reputation was sufficient to earn me an invitation to dine at the King's table. That the fare was sumptuous beyond the dreams of mortal man goes without saying, but the conflict between the King and his consort cast something of a shadow upon the evening.

Sir R----- my fine fellow! Come join me in quenching this summer eve's thirst with a tankard of cold ale! Might I presume that your thirst for wager is as pressing as that for refreshment?

I am gladdened to hear it Sir! Gladdened to hear it indeed!

This day's sweltering heat has put me in mind of the time that I found myself temporarily misplaced in the great Caloris rainforest on Mercury. I had been escorting the Velikovsky expedition, which had secured the patronage of the Russian Imperial court for its mission to locate the source of the Amazon, and on one particularly close evening our encampment was attacked by a band of Salamanders which, unlike their diminutive Earthly cousins, stood some eight feet tall and wielded vicious looking barbed spears.

Greetings Sir R-----! I trust that I find you in good spirit? Will you join me in a draught of this rather fine Cognac and perchance some sporting diversion?

Good man!

I propose a game that ever puts me in mind of an adventure of mine in the town of Bağçasaray, where I was posted after General Lacy had driven Khan Fetih Giray out from therein. I had received word that the Khan was anxious to retake the town and been given orders to hold it at all costs.

Why, you look chilled to the bone Sir R-----! Come sit by the hearth and warm yourself whilst I fetch you a medicinal glass of brandy.
To your very good health sir! Will you join me in a wager whilst you recover?

Good show!

I propose a game that I learned upon the banks of the river Styx whilst my fellow travellers and I were waiting for the ferry. This being the third time that I had died, I was quite accustomed to the appalling service quality of the Hadean public transport system and so was most appreciative of a little sport to pass the time.

Sir R-----! Might I presume that you are of a mood for a glass and a wager?

Good fellow! Stout fellow! Come join me in a draught!

I suggest a game oft played in the fair land of Lyonesse which, contrary to historical record, has not forever sunk beneath the waves, but has rather through some oversight been quite forgot in all our atlases.
I had been invited to banquet with the King of that fair and fecund realm, but arrived to find his court in disarray; the Queen had been stolen away by the foul Lord Maleagant! Naturally, I immediately put myself at my host's disposal and set off to rescue his fair bride.

Sir R-----, my fine fellow, it does my heart good to see you upon this summer's eve! Will you take a glass of muscatel and, perchance, a wager?

As I should have expected, you have not disappointed me sir!

Might I propose a game native to the Isle of Cockaigne, that land of plenty where the fountains run with this elixir, where the vintners string up their vines with sausages and where, whensoever it rains, it rains gravy?

Hail and well met Sir R-----! As ever, it is my very great pleasure to invite you to join me in a glass of restorative spirits and perhaps a little sport.
Why you seem pained my friend; what ails you?

Your back, you say?

It so happens that I have in my possession a quantity of snake oil liniment prepared by the master apothecaries of the South Sea Floating City, of which I can vouchsafe efficacy.

Greetings Sir R-----, come warm your bones at my table by the hearth and join me in a glass of brandy! I trust that winter's chill has not cooled your ardour for wager?

Good fellow! Splendid fellow!

I have in mind a game much played by the short statured, excessively hairy and nature obsessed folk of the Wimbledon commune, whose encampment I chanced upon whilst taking a morning constitutional some several years ago. I was drawn to it by a rather odd smell in the air, which I subsequently discovered to emanate from a peculiar blend of tobacco that they were especially fond of; a blend quite inferior to the Russian I can tell you!

Salutations, Sir R-----! Might I presume that a glass of warming spirit might kindle your passion for wager upon this chill winter's night?

It shames me to have doubted it sir, it shames me to have doubted it!

As you will have no doubt read in the popular press, I was recently ordained as the Metropolitan of Moscow. Less well reported is that this was done at the request of the Empress so as to facilitate trade negotiations with the fervently religious, and perplexingly geriatric, peoples of Sedna; an extremely distant and relatively small territory entirely governed by its priesthood.