Warren Terror


Warren Terror

Sir R-----, my good man! Might I tempt you with a tankard of this most refreshing ale and, perchance, some small wager with which we might while away this fine spring evening?

Splendid fellow!

Might I suggest a game employed by the famously superstitious leporine subjects of the moon fairy Chang'e to test the luck of her generals? Oft set upon by ravenous Selenites tired of their predominantly mushroom based cuisine, they must decide upon which of the entrances to their warren that they should most heavily fortify. Not knowing at which of them an attack might take place, the element of luck is clearly of paramount importance and is tested by how successfully they might, in their game, place defensive troops so as to outnumber their attackers.

Here, I have chalked us each four spaces upon which we may stake a total of between four and eight coins apiece to represent our forces. Once you have assembled yours, you shall have two coins from my purse and I shall assemble mine, after which the roll of a four sided die shall determine at which of those spaces the attack shall take place. If I have a greater number upon my space than you have upon yours then I shall be the victor and have all of the coins upon the table, if you have more than I then likewise shall you have them all and in the event of a tie we shall each have back those that we placed upon it.

Upon hearing the rules of this game, that odious student whose company I seem to be forever cursed to endure recounted that he had spent some long time gazing into a mirror, wondering whether or not what he spied therein was fair. Just how that weasel-faced milksop could have failed to answer his question in the negative after but a moment's consideration escapes me. I should have expected that decent folk recoil from him in disgust; were it not for my iron constitution and profound sense of noblesse oblige, I certainly would!

But let us not dwell upon that wretch; come let me replenish your tankard whilst you think upon whether or not you feel lucky!

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